Happy Halloween!

Hope all you boils and ghouls have/had a spooky and strange Hallowe'en!

I always love to know what clever costume ideas people come up with, so shout em out!

We celebrated on Thursday, so here was mine:

 

I was a cat burglar! *har har har*

I was mistaken for a raccoon a couple times.

 Two of my pals were ninjas. 

I sewed the pants for the lad on the left out of a black bed-sheet!

We came upon these folks in the dark of night.

I hope I never see anything so disturbing again.

  

This is my favourite photo of the night. 

It takes a skilled cat burglar to steal keys from a ninja. And she knows it.

What are/were your costumes? Which ones really impressed you? 

Happy Halloween err'body!

 

Anti-social Transportation

I prefer to bike in the rain, at night.

This way, there are far fewer people at whom I'm required to nod and smile. 

And far fewer people I'm at risk of taking out.


I am alone in this? 


I'd like that.

Public Service Announcement #4: Our Guts are Smart

 Pop Quiz: What do your guts tell you about this house?

Ladies, we are often criticized for making decisions based on "feelings". 

However, there are times when it is VERY VERY important to pay attention to those "feelings". And not the lovey-dovey ones. 

I mean the icky, creepy, sinking, where's-the-nearest-exit feelings. 

Here are some icky, creepy, uh-oh situations to avoid: 


1. Having your potential boss pick you up from your house and take you to a secluded Tim Horton's for your interview, when you're 16. Also...leave a note for your mom, because she's gonna get the icky-creepies too, but 1000X worse. (I believe that's Part 3 of "How to Scare Your Mother")


In my defense, I didn't KNOW he was icky and creepy until after the summer job had ended, but I did find him very weird the whole time I worked for him. 


2. Unpopular stairwells. Just take the elevator. If there's a creep in the elevator or getting on with you, take the next one. If there is no elevator...run up the stairs. Pretend someone's chasing you. It will also be great training for if someone actually does chase you up those stairs.


3. You CAN be groped in broad day-light. Ok, I know you can't really avoid this, but always always always look AT people who are passing you. At least for a moment. Then you can at least give a sketch artist some kind of basic description. 


Also, going to a sketch artist is not cool or fun. It's long, tedious, frustrating and exhausting. But it works.


4. If you make fun of/reject/piss off a weirdo at a bar. Make sure he doesn't leave at the same time as you. If he does, take a cab or try to walk behind him. And always have a buddy!

The buddy system: It worked at camp, it works in life.


5. If you're 4 years old, DON'T wander around malls in foreign cities by yourself just because your brother was watching football in Sears and you got bored. Your mom will FLIP, and your dad will have a spaz attack because he knows mom will kill him if he doesn't find you.


That day could have ended sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo badly.


6. Walking alone at night. I know that's obvious, but really...don't wear headphones, or a backpack if you can help it. Also, take a self-defense class if you ever get the opportunity.  There are so many things to know, that only a self-defense instructor can tell you.

7. Approaching your car without looking around. Is there a big white window-less van on the driver's side? Get in the other side. And don't sit in the car texting or making a grocery list. Just lock the doors and gooooo. 
Also, always check under the car and in the back seat before getting in. I used to do this even when it was parked in the driveway! 

I'm a tad paranoid.


8. Watching Scream WHILE babysitting. Bad move. Especially if the kids are already asleep. Then you've got no distractions and you're going to leap 5 feet in the air when you hear the radiator click. But do lock the doors. That's always smart.  


9. Driving alone at night on long and winding country road. I can't even tell you how many times I did this in high school, coming home from a friend's or bf's house. It's terrifying. I mean truly terrifying. Any number of things could happen. The Mothman could come at your windshield, a ghost car could play chicken with you, you could get a flat and the tow-truck man could be a serial killer (call your dad instead, please) or (depending where you're from), a deer/coyote/wolf could leap out in front of you and cause you to swerve and perish in a fiery crash.


I'm just saying, it's not a relaxing time. Play music, shine your high beams, don't engage in races with ghostly cars.


10. If it's your 19th birthday (21st in the US, 18th in Quebec) and you are at a bar, people are going to buy you drinks. Even strangers are going to buy you drinks.
If a middle-aged man who you've never met brings you a drink, refuse it. If you didn't see it poured, don't drink it. In fact, do what I did and tell him he's an idiot for thinking that would be ok.


Most important: don't be paranoid like me. Otherwise, everybody's going to look creepy. Every road is going to look poorly-lit. Every employer who asks personal questions is going to seem like a pedophile.


But it's not true! As long as you don't ignore what your tummy is telling you, you'll be fine. 


Have I sufficiently creeped you out? 


Have a Happy Halloween!

Chronic Clumsiness

Sometimes I forget that I am not 7, and I bound up and down the stairs as if I've just discovered a way to get revenge on my brother.

Or time-travel.

Or render homework extinct.

I forget that I am a couple feet taller (that's being generous) than I was when I was 7, my feet get confused and I trip and almost break myself. I'm shocked I haven't knocked my teeth out.

[Last night, I tripped going UP and my dinner was the victim. It flew into the bathroom and landed upside-down. Tragic. There's no saving a dinner from the bathroom floor.]

I've had a great many years to get used to not being 7, but I continue to forget.

It may be a depth-perception problem. Which might explain why when I reach for something, I miss it half the time. AND why I really suck at softball.


But it's also an age-perception issue.

My brain thinks I'm 7, I'm 80 at heart, I haven't grown in any direction since I was 12 and chronologically I'm 24 (soon...). 

What is age anyway?

Stairs are fun. Leave me be.

Awesome Possum #6

I hope this kid knows she's beyond awesome. LOOK AT THAT FACE!

It's been an excellent week. Lemme break it down to ya.

1. Got an 80% on a midterm I didn't study a great deal for. 

2. Craisins. My cereal has been phenomenal this week. Who knew?

3. Started running again! A month off was just...not right. 

Oddly enough, the best run in the past five days, was when it was 8 degrees (Celsius) and pouring rain...as opposed to this morning when it was sunny and 16 degrees. I'm a weirdo.

4. New jeans! Wasn't even looking for jeans. It just kind of...happened. 

Don't judge.


5. There was a 10-minute period today, when I was certain that they'd stopped making my favourite underwear. It was terrifying. Then I found them. They were in the back of the store. PHEW!


What's awesome, is that that's the most worried I've been in quite a while. 


6. I was (unintentionally) late for my seminar class this week and therefore, I only had to listen to one presentation! Huzzaaah!!


I hate that class.


7. Catching up with The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is amazing. I want all of his t-shirts.


8. Autumn. I just love it. I think if the whole year could be this temperature, I'd be forever comfortable.


Summer was unbearable. I didn't know 40C was even possible in Canada. Not fun.

aaaaaand

*drum roll* 


9. Halloween costume is complete! 


If you didn't already know, I LOVE Halloween. I like being able to get creative and look ridiculous sans dirty/puzzled looks.

Example: two years ago, I went as a green pipe from Super Mario World. I had a fireball-shooting flower coming out of my head. My ex-bf went as a brown cube, and he'd stick a beanstalk in the air when you punched him (all my idea, btw). It was amazing.

Winter Running Gear

I've never owned winter running gear before. You know why that is?

Because I don't run in the winter. I hibernate. I drink tea. I wear 9 sweaters at once.
It IS the most wonderful time of year...

The down-side is that when spring arrives, I have to start my training again from the very beginning.

It's terrible and daunting.

My excuse has always been cold-induced asthma. Cold air makes me wheeze like a slow, fat kid chasing an ice cream truck. However, the 10K race I trained for all summer has motivated me to keep training through the winter. 

Stop laughing.


So I've purchased some winter running attire (thanks to a few of those fancy gift certificates) and I am providing a review for those of you like me, who have a screw loose. 

My dad always feigned turning a screwdriver at the side of my neck when I said something slightly kooky (you can imagine how often that was). How loving and supportive.

1. Peak Performance Tactic Zip Jacket (Style #G25924024)

"Hey Running Room Man, what's your warmest running jacket?"
"This one."
"I'll take it."


I don't fool around. 


Bonus features: Fits like a dream; sleeves are easy to push up and won't fall down; pocket on arm for music/keys/puffer?/etc.; side pockets; inside pockets. I love pockets. Also, it's warm. Really warm. 
Besides that...it's bright pink! Huzzaaaah.


2. Mizuno Breath Thermo Layered Tights (Style #420852)

"Hey Running Room Man, will my legs fall off I wear these to run in the middle of winter?"
"No?"

I ignored his confused expression.





They are SUPER warm. I started sweating just trying them on. They have zips at the ankles, a very fleecey warm material in the buttock region, and a pocket right where a tramp-stamp would be located. I can't imagine put keys in there...but you never know.

And you will need a base layer (recommended by Running Room Man). For example:

3. Adidas adiStar 3/4 Pants (Style #P93306)

I wanted something multi-purpose to wear underneath the warm tights. So I got these, which I can wear to run now, while it's still just "cool" and in the spring. The other option was a pair of Mizuno thermal pants, but then I'd only be able to wear them in the winter, because they're f***ing warm. Holy heat stroke.

The other day, it was pretty cool out, and I just wore these + the running jacket and I was fine. 

When it gets colder, I'll wear a long-sleeved wool base layer, and the jacket on top. On the bottom I'll combine the 3/4 pants and the long thermal pants. 

It is also necessary to wear gloves and a toque (to prevent heat-loss), and a neck-warmer that cover the nose and mouth, to cut down on breathing in cold air/wheezing.

Happy Winter-Running you crazy fools!

The One Where I Have to Yell

I don't yell. Let's just get that straight. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life I have had to actually yell at someone.


Before last night, the last time was years ago at camp, when Devil-Boy broke the kitchen sink and I had to sit him down on the cabin steps in the wee hours of the night and yell at him until he cried. 
Very satisfying, I can tell you.


In one way, I am like my dad. It takes YEARS to make me mad about anything. 


But once I reach that critical tipping point, I become my mother. 

My mother is a kind, gentle, loving person. But she has this magic capability of shooting icey "Daggers o' Fear" out of her eyes. She can also yell at you in a way that makes you feel as if you've just drowned a puppy, when really you've forgotten to do the dishes. She doesn't even have to be loud...just effective. And the eyes really help.


Woman's got skillz.


So, I got some practice last night. 


Roommate and her friend got drunk on strawberry vodka while getting ready to go out (and by the end of the night, I could have done with a shot of something A LOT stronger, that's certain). Roommate got very sick. Friend was acting like a child. So, I asked Roommate (at this point on the floor, over her garbage can) what I should do, she said "make them go away". So that was my mission.


Goodbye, calm night watching The Big Bang Theory. Hello, crowd control.


First I told her to leave. She went downstairs. She didn't believe Roommate REALLY wanted her gone. (Which she did).


Then she snuck upstairs and I dragged her out of Roommate's room by her belt. (That was kind of fun, but I resisted smiling).


Roommate needed water. I went to get water. Friend ran up the stairs when I was in the kitchen.


This was my breaking point. It was at this point when I channeled my mother's teacher voice, and commented (loudly) that while I'm trying to get her water, she's making me CHASE HER around my OWN HOME?! And then it happened.


GET OUT!!!

I scared myself! When I yell, it never sounds like me, and it feels very strange...I had to take some deep breaths when Friend wasn't looking.
So that scared her enough to make her (and the 2 stone-sober guys there to drive them downtown) cower in the corner while I got water. 

Then, she started pulling out tricks all the kids I babysat used to use to avoid bed-time. 


"I forgot my..." (no)
"I just need to..." (no)
"But I just..." (no)
"But I...." (no)
"Do you think I'm DRUNK?!" (yes)  *note: kids never actually tried this one
"But..." (no)

And just to top it off, do you know what finally made her leave? 




I counted down from 10. 


Ima make a great mama.  

PSA #3: Hygiene

The perfect kid: clean and asleep.

The world would be a much healthier and cleaner place, if everyone acted like someone just bumped uglies on something they're about to touch.

I'm no germophobe (in fact, I'm probably the opposite), but I AM entrenched in the eye-opening world of health sciences. Plus I've lived in two cities with their own share of ick. The world's a nasty place, folks. 

Here are a few daily reminders: 
*very fortunately based on the experience of friends or class-learnin's. 

There are sometimes STDs in vending machine coin slots (true story!). I don't want to know how they GET there.

Someone probably just danced the fandango (euphemism alert!) on that park bench/subway pole/McDonald's table/church pew...

Children will cough INTO YOUR MOUTH. Be ever vigilant...


Puddles are not always filled with water.

Children play in the same grass where dogs do their dirty business. Take them all for a de-worming. Make a day of it!

That's not a balloon!


Public pools smell for a reason.

Going cold turkey is awesome. Eating cold turkey is not. 


Sharing hats, popsicles, blood, musical instruments or toothbrushes is just asking for trouble.


Lastly, make some tea, read a book and try to forget most of the above. 

Or invest in some latex gloves and a giant bubble.

In summary:

- Never trust children.
- Wash your hands.
- Never assume.
- Wash your hands.
- Wash your children's hands. Then bathe them. In bleach.

Kidding! 

Only the bleach part though...seriously, scrub those kids raw. 

Also,

Find.this.soap

And then tell me if it's as amazing as I imagine it would be...

ALoA #5

I'm a day late, I'm aware. 

There is no time to blog while at a 2-day Global Food Security Conference. Especially when your professor is there, and you're supposed to look like you're paying attention. 

Which I was.

Of course.

Regardless, it's a good thing I waited because there are heaps of awesome things to mention from this week.

1. Thinking I lost, but then finding, $150. Holy poo. That was a dicey hour.

2. Finally replacing my wool winter coat that someone stole last spring. 

3. Falling in lurv with said coat BEFORE seeing that it was reduced to $70 from $160. 

Say whaaaaa? 


It's camel, it's lined with gold-coloured silky goodness, it has the perfect pockets and a HUGE collar. Warmth galore. 

Amen.

4. Winter running clothes. So: a) I don't die and b) I look cool.


5. Spending 2 days with some cool gal-pals of mine at a conference, eating piles and piles of free food and drinking gallons of coffee. And peeing a lot.


6. Glucosamine. I know I'm not nearly a Golden Girl yet (I wish), but I do have a crackly wrist and crackly knee. I would assume from excessive typing and jogging. So I've been popping glucosamine and it's actually working! I was skeptical. I'm always skeptical. 

Mostly because I like the way it's spelled.

I don't sound like I'm about to disintegrate anymore! 


7. Being clever enough at 6am to remember to bring my camera to the conference. 


In other words: my assigned speaker's lecture is entirely recorded. Huzzzaaah. 


8. My assigned speaker quoted Monty Python. If he'd ended with a silly walk, I woulda died.


9. "Speticular". My choir director has a way with words, that is certain. 


10. Getting secret CD's of the Alto 1 part. Buahahaha! 

Scott, sir, if you're reading this..... shhhhhh!
Don't ask questions, just enjoy our harmonious new sound, mkay?


11. An amazing potluck with my pal Nadia, her friend and her roommate.


It was an incredible mix of Indian, Caribbean and Ghanaian dishes...plus my lemon cake. 

Which probably isn't a "Canadian" dish, but I don't care. Either way, the whole thing was amazing. Plus we had sangria. For lunch. Then I had to go study/watch Batman.


12. My only midterm is over. I don't have to study again until December. Weee!


Bonus awesome thing I discovered this week? 


Sheldon's (Big Bang Theory) laugh.



It kills me, it absolutely kills me.

How to Make a Roux

Roux is french. 

It means "a sauce made with butter, flour and milk/cream, thickened until creamy and delicious". Or something like that.

Its plural form, is also roux. 


So when I say things like "Roux are delicious!", you understand that I'm not an idiot.


However the whole sentence is wrong anyway, since I'm mixing two languages...so let's just move on with our lives, shall we?


How to Make a Roux 
Note: this is for one person...double/triple as necessary. I trust you with the math.


Take some butter. You know you want to.


Throw the butter (about 2 tsp) in a pan on medium heat. Let it melt. 


Take an equal amount of flour (I use arrowroot, but you could use whatever you have).


Throw the flour in the pan! Mix until pasty and non-clumpy.


Add 3/4 c. milk (the fattier the better. I had 1% today, so that's what I used.)


Stir, stir, stir. Get out all the lumps. Wait until it foams. 


THAT is a basic roux. But from there you can do soooo many things.


For instance, you could add grated Havarti, diced celery, and some dill, chives and salt.

Then you could, for instance, pour it over some spaghetti noodles...

NOM NOM NOM!


T'was good. 


The end.

Situations in Which my Degree is Useful

 

Were you aware that I spent 4 years of my life cramming biochemical knowledge into my (unnaturally tiny) head?

Knowledge including but not limited to: chemical structures/functions/reactions; finicky lab techniques; ridiculously long chemical names which may or may not contain numbers, letters, greek letters, miscellaneous symbols and punctuation; all the ways in which someone may develop a tumour/cancer (btw..we all have cancer); every scientific development since the beginning of time; how to conjure up things in your mind that until last year didn't exist yet; and how to set a lab bench on fire/explode a fume hood without intending to.

At the time, I'm sure I thought I was learning useful stuff. But that's just not how it is. 

A biochemistry degree is useful when (and only when):

a) you want to sound smart at a party

b) you want to sound a little masochistic at a party

c) you want to prevent yourself from making any friends at a party

d) you are asked for help by students who are currently learning their amino acids. Aww. :)

e) your family members wonder what tryptophan REALLY is at Thanksgiving dinner

f) you need to do well on a nutraceutical chemistry midterm, when your study methods include baking a cake and watching Batman movies.

Luckily, I cashed in on use "f" today. 

Huzzah. 

Thank youuuuu Biochemistry.

And Michael Keaton.

And lemon cake.

PS I could write an entire series of blog posts on the reasons why Batman wins, but I won't. Instead I'll just tell you 3 important things. 
1. As a wee thing, I had Batman bubble-bath. I thought it made me invincible. 
2. For my 18th birthday, my friends and I watched "Batman The Movie" (1966), which I'd already seen 1,857,131 times.
3. I will argue til the end of time that Val Kilmer, as a person and a Batman, was a terrible idea.

Batman. He's too cool for school.


I am not too cool for school. Which is why I'm still here.



Case in point:

I want these.

12 Tips for Gluten-Free Baking

On one level, this speaks to the organizational wizard in me.

On another level, I can't help noticing that the butter stick has a flagellum.

And the baking powder & soda look like diaphragms...

Am I alone in this?

Seeing as how 3 years ago, I had to call my mother to ask how to bake a potato, it's kind of shocking that I'm about to send baking tips out into the interwebz.


Originally, baking "sans gluten" was more of a survival technique than a leisure-time activity, but now it is certainly one of my favourite hobbies. You know how there are some things that you enjoy so much, you don't have to really think about what you're doing? Your hands just start moving and your muscle memory takes over? That's what happens when I bake. 

In fact, when I'm done baking I regain consciousness, remove the bowl from my face and wonder where the last hour of my life went.

My family doesn't know who I am anymore. 3 years ago all I could make was sandwiches.

True story.

So here are some useful things I've learned about baking gluten-free goods, which may prevent you from wanting to rip out your hair and gouge out your eyes. 


1. If you're going to use shortening instead of butter, only use it for cakes and cookies where you're creaming the shortening with sugar. In muffins and other things, just use oil. Also...when creaming shortening and sugar, I hope you have massive biceps. Be patient. Take breaks. Drink some gatorade. It WILL eventually work.


2. Don't mix your muffins too much, but mix cookies and cake WELL. 


3. If possible, save the baking powder to add near the end (ie. in muffins). It doesn't like to be beaten much. It's very sensitive.


4. Don't freak out! Recipes are guidelines. If you find out you're missing something, find a substitute. You have no butter? Use/make applesauce! Recipe said room temperature and you threw that egg in cold? Don't fret. Your baked good may not reach its full potential, but it's not an epic failure.


5. Lick the bowl. If your baked goodness turns out well, consider licking the bowl your reward. If it turns out badly? Consider it your consolation prize. 


6. Heed the advice of your pan manufacturers. I've mentioned this before. If the advice is to lower the temperature in the recipe by 60 degs when using a certain pan. Do it. You won't regret it. 

I baked THE lemon cake again today. Lowered temp to 300F instead of 350 or whatever it was before. A world of difference folks. A whole world.


7. Parchment paper will be your best friend. Well, your best non-human, non-pet friend. Use it liberally. I like it better than silipat, because silicone baking sheets make things smell funny (ie. like a chem lab) to me. Anyone else find this?


8. Homemade bread is NOT as hard as people say. You know why? Because the naysayers are people who've only made wheat bread. Gluten-free bread is actually...wait for it...easier.


Yep. It's easier. All you do, is mix everything together, let it rise for a couple hours in a warm oven (make sure you turn off the heat once it's warmed up...) and bake it. No kneading, no proofing. It's kind of like a cake. Just be patient, and throw out any pre-conceived notions of how it should look/feel.


Pre-conceived notions make bread nervous, and unable to perform.

9. Arrowroot starch and sorghum flour are amazing, especially for muffins or bread since they keep things moist. Arrowroot is also good for making gravy. 


mmm. gravy.


10. Find out if you can tolerate uncontaminated oats. If you can, things just got a whole lot easier (helloooo apple crisp). If not? Try quinoa flakes!


11. Make use of cornmeal! Plenty of things can be made just with cornmeal. Missing english muffins? Make arepas! Suuuper easy, and fun, and delicious (with tomatoes, basil and mozzarella on top....*drool*). Need something to bring to a potluck? Make cornbread! 

Someday I will put a cornbread recipe up, I promise. Once I bring my cast-iron skillet back from NS.


12. Have fun! If it's too stressful, you're going to rush through it, and you won't learn anything. If you take your time and enjoy it, you might actually soak in what you're doing! 

Word.

Public Service Announcement #2

PSA #2: Don't marry toddlers.

You may not think this is of great concern, but I speak from experience.

The down-sides of marrying a toddler, other than the either non-existant or seriously disappointing honeymoon, include:


1. No engagement ring. Instead, you may receive a hockey card, as I did.


2. They will not call you, as they are not allowed to use a phone.


3. They will cry. Before the wedding, during the wedding, and when the dog runs away with their plastic wedding cake.


4. They grow up and forget they're even married to you. If that's not insulting, I just don't know what is.


5. Your wedding ring will be plastic. And neon green. And obtained from a dentist office.


6. He will throw a tantrum because his older sister (the priest) has more lines during the wedding than he does.


7. He's too short to kiss. And too drooly. And obviously, too young.


8. He's marrying you for your power as his babysitter, not because he actually likes you.


9. He may also be marrying you so you won't hate him for puking blue vomit all over his bed the week before.


10. It's illegal. But I didn't really HAVE to say that right? You knew that. 


Right?

ALoA #4

 The true meaning of Thanksgiving

Clockwise from top left: gravy, apple crumble, apple pie, pumpkin pie!

You've probably heard by now that this past weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada. 

And what a Thanksgiving it was.

So here is your list of Awesome for the week. 

Thanksgiving Edition.

1. Pie. Every holiday that includes the eating of pie is a holiday worth 4 or 5 blog posts...

2. Soaking in all of the comedic exchanges between my parents. 

3. Watching the Bugs Bunny & Tweety Show. It will never, ever, ever get old.

4. Bacon-flavoured chips. 

5. Making my 90-year-old grandmother laugh by telling her that she must be a superhero because she's never so much as had a cold. And have her laugh again after I remind her that she hasn't denied the claim...

She never did...

6. Burning things. Lots and lots of things. Try it! 

7. Waking up to fresh coffee and a warm pumpkin chocolate chip muffin. 


8. When the lights go out at night, it is pitch dark. No security lights shining through the window, no eerie green fire alarm light on the ceiling. Just.complete.darkness. Aaaaahhhhh. 


I'm 99.99% sure I was a bat in a past life.

9. A shower that doesn't spray hot daggers at me. It's like being in a waterfall. 


10. Two turkey dinners. I repeat. TWO turkey dinners. And today? I may just have a turkey sandwich. And instead of bread, there will be turkey. Instead of cheese....turkey.


I am prepared for a tryptophan coma. I have pre-written posts to be published on a schedule for a few days. That should also cover any turkey withdrawal.


Hope it was a grand holiday for all of my fellow Canucks! 

Feel free to share your own holiday tales. :)

Thanksgiving for the Boys

 "Look at how evenly I mow."

"Very nice. Very nice."

 "Look how we cut down all the trees and burned 'em."

"Good view, good view."

"Now where's that turkey..."
"I'm talkin' to 'im."

I like inventing dialogue.

It makes ordinary photos quite comical. If only just for me. 

Side note: 90% of my father's wardrobe is swag from various motorcycle manufacturers. 
The Yamaha logo is permanently engrained in my memory...

Gluten-free Pumpkin and Apple Pies

When Ma and I make pies, it's never the same each time. 

We try to follow recipes, we really do. I get all set to follow the recipe, and then she doesn't agree with it. I tell her that's what it says, but she won't have any of it. 

So we scrap any plan we have, and find another way. For about 6 minutes, the kitchen is a tense place to be. After that, the flour starts flying and it all works out. 

Last year I accidentally added twice the amount of butter to the crust. Tense times. But you know what we learned? 

That nobody complains about extra butter.

Nobody complains about extra fat ever.

So, while I drink pop and watch Inspector Gadget, I'll tell you what we ACTUALLY did today. It is a well-known fact that I only come home for the food and retro cartoons.

Gluten-free Pumpkin Pie

2 cups Bob's Red Mill GF Biscuit and Baking Mix (don't use his All-Purpose, it's not light enough)
1/2 c. cold butter, cut into the flour until it looks like this:

Slowly add 6-8 Tbsp of cold water, until the flour/butter becomes dough. Knead it into a ball and get ready to roll it out!

Roll it out, and keep sprinkling more flour on to keep it from sticking. Flip it into a 9" pie pan and shape the edges, chopping off excess (make sure to save it!)

For the filling, mix 2 cups of pure pumpkin, 13 oz of evaporated milk, 2 eggs, 2 tsp vanilla, 3/4 c. sugar, 1 tsp pure maple syrup, and 1 tsp cinnamon. Mix it all up with an electric mixer and fill the pie crust (you'll have some extra, but that's alright).

Put that in the oven at 350F for 50-60 minutes. Or longer. Just make sure it has set and it's not gooey in the middle. :)

Enjoy!

Gluten-free Apple Crumble

There was a bit of dough left over from the pumpkin pie, so mom rolled it out (t'was very thin, so maybe prepare a bit more dough if you want to make both) and put it in another pan. Peel and cut some Gravenstein apples, and dump those in. 

Then mix 1/4 c. sugar and 1 tsp cinnamon and sprinkle that over the apples. 

Measure out another cup of the biscuit mix and stir in 1/4 c. of melted butter. Mix until crumbly and throw it on top of the pie! Bake at 350F for 50-60 minutes (again, maybe longer, who knows. It's up to the pie gods).

mmm... <3


Happy Thanksgiving! 

Fun facts:

When Inspector Gadget packs a suitcase, he fills it with trenchcoats.

Also, his dog (Brain) makes a superb undercover ninja. 

A Canadian Thanksgiving

It was a beautiful day for burning things.

 

So that's just what we did.

Happy Turkey Day from Nova Scotia, Canada!

:)

Conversations from the Cove

Setting: the cottage

Scene 1:

Back-story: Mom would marry Tom Selleck if a) she wasn't already married and b) if he knew her.

"Mama, is Eric Clapton your musical Tom Selleck?"
"Ummmm. No. He's ok though."
"Who IS your musical Tom Selleck?"
"......Bruce Springsteen I suppose."
"Done."
*Dancing in the Dark ensues*

Scene 2:
 
*Dad eats 4 pieces of cake*

Moi: "That's 4 servings dad"
Mon père: "Did I eat cake Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? No. That's 4 pieces I need to make up."
Moi: "Your mind intrigues me. People could study it."
Maman: "It wouldn't take long."


ZING!


Scene 3:

Maman: ..."and they sold them all acrosst America!"
Me: "Interjection. You just said 'acrosst' "
Maman: "Whoops! Sorry. *ahem* 'Across' America."
Pa: "That's a Nova Scotia thing. You wanna be a proper Nova Scotian, you say 'acrosst!' " *Guffaw*

He guffawed indeed. It's why I love him so.

Scene 4:

Pa: "Have ya seen my glasses?"
Ma: "Yep! I actually brought them this time!"
Pa: "Well get on it."
Ma: *didn't hear him* "What?"
Pa: "Yes dear"


*Ma lifts suitcase onto bed to get glasses* "UUGGHH!"
Pa: "heavy?"
Me: *guffaw* 

Scene 5: 

*the folks are getting ready for beddy-bye*


Ma: "Oooh I'm soooo tiiiiired!"
Pa: "You don't know what tired is."
Ma: *crumples into hysterical laughter*

--------


Ma: " *sigh*... Good night dear."
Pa: "Don't call me, I'll call you." *guffaw*

--------


Ma: *after going to get a blanket for dad* "Are you cold?"
Pa: "freezing." 
Ma: *snort* "well here's a blanket"
Pa: "awww you're so nice! No matter what people say!" *guffaw*


Aaaaand fade to black.


My father has mastered both perfect comedic timing and the guffaw. It really is magical to witness.

Imagine what I'll hear tomorrow when I spend a whole day with them! Lordie.

Public Service Announcement #1

Do you recall those PSAs of the early 90's/late 80's that told us all that our brains are eggs? And if you do drugs, not only does the egg break, but your whole kitchen (the universe?) will implode? 

Or those that told us to stay in school, or else you'll end up a washed up actor like the guy in the ad? ...Was that not the message? Hm. Sorry Matthew Perry!

I am most assuredly the person I am today because of these informative and celebrity-ridden ads. 
And good parents. 

I feel these ads have gone out of style, but they are far too important to lose. So I will share some of my own errors in judgement and perhaps help you avoid making the same. It's the least I could do. 

 ...but I'll leave the drugs and safe-sex lectures for TV. That's the proper place to hear it anyway. Right?


Instead, a topic very much on my mind (pun!) this time of year. Enjoy!


PSA #1: Helmets (and sleeves) are uncool, but important.


I told you in a previous post that I would save this story for another day. Today is that day.


Helmets (and sleeves) prevent the following (aside from death, you know that one):


1. Three months without skin in various areas of your body. A light breeze will hurt you.


2. An unsettling crack in your skull, which is sometimes itchy, sometimes painful, and forever vulnerable. However it's a great way to tell if Voldemort is nearby.


3. Loss of quarts upon quarts of blood. I mean, it's a great way to scare children in the ER, but it leaves you pretty cold and dizzy.


4. Black eyes. Old people stare at girls with black eyes. 


5. Un-fun moments on a gurney with your mom telling you stone-sober that you almost died. Whatever you do, avoid a moment like that in your life. You'll never be the same. 


6. A doctor picking gravel out of many different places.


7. Sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table looking like a mummy. It's not very festive, and you just look foolishly excited for Halloween.


8. Not being able to get dressed, shower, roll over, play fetch, etc. for weeks.


9. Going into shock and trying to pretend you're not so your mom thinks everything is A-OK.


10. Telling people how it happened and having them tell you you're an idiot, because you're 21 and you should know better. Sigh.

11. Saying something odd and having your family wonder if you're concussed. Then trying to explain what you meant, and making it worse. Double sigh.


Helmets are for all ages, and will save you from the terrifying, lasting and embarrassing situations above. 


Maybe someday I'll post of photo of how I looked after this incident. 


Maybe. I don't want to scare you that much. I think you get it.

And I don't want to make you have flashbacks like me. I can't look at a skateboard without wincing...

That concludes PSA #1. Also titled "Ways to Scare Your Mom, Part 2".

Part 1 was the "Thinking Face". *shudder*


It's a running theme. It happened a lot.