Dealing with Creeps

 Class D Creep (moderate invasiveness, likely harmless)

Testicle Size: Small

It's kind of inevitable. If you are a lady, you are eventually going to find yourself in the presence of a creep. Attractive or not, unfortunately, there is a creep for every lady.

Creep (noun, Eng): A male (typically) who gives one (typically female) the so-called "heebie-jeebies". May or may not actually pose a threat, but nevertheless makes one's skin crawl. Uncomfortable to converse with/stand near/see/hear/sense...

That is straight from my own mental dictionary. 

I won't say any names, because the invasive nature of the creep-du-jour has yet to be determined, though if I were to estimate, I'd rate it at "pretty durn invasive". There is a high probability he will find this blog. *shudder*


Basically...I have found myself backed into the proverbial corner every weekend. 

I won't divulge specifics, for the reason above, but here is what you ladies can do to (a) prevent and/or (b) deal with said creeps in an effective, and perhaps even somewhat charming, fashion. Though I don't recommend being charming. That is what draws the creeps in the first place, especially when it's unintentional (as in: just being polite).


Step 1: Do not answer personal questions. I have in fact, let it get too far, as I am quite often too polite. If you have, like me, let it get to a point where they know too much about you and you feel quite uncomfortable, make a point to cut them off at the next question. Tell them they've reached their limit/quota on personal-question-asking, and all future questions must be related to *insert mundane topic*. The more you sound like a drone-y customer service rep, the better. Then look at them, blink twice, and walk away. 
I am putting Step 1 into action quite soon...


Step 2: Do not accept gifts. Creeps will give you shit. It's true! They'll give you all sorts of shit. They'll dig it out of the depths of their basements if they believe that a) you'll like it and b) it will make you like them. I have received two gifts. I said no. It didn't matter. I then pawned them off on someone else.


Step 3: SAY SOMETHING. It is acceptable, and completely appropriate to tell a creep that their behaviour is unacceptable, and indeed, completely inappropriate. It's even more pertinent if they are your superior, some kind of authority, or someone you see a great deal, as in my case. 


Step 4: Tell someone else! If someone gives you the heebie-jeebies, tell someone. Tell many people! Make a guy-friend come and pretend to be your boyfriend. Bring along your dad and tell him to glare and frown at Mr. Creep at all times. Tell the superiors of an authority-figure creep! You don't have to make a big fuss if nothing has happened yet, but if someone else knows, they can at least help you escape (Emergency meeting! Your mom is on the phone! Tornado warning!) if they see the Creep descending upon you. I hate that in this world we can't always deal with creeps alone and feel like we need bigger, stronger, or just other men to watch out for us...but it does help to know that someone else is aware of what's going on. 


Step 5: Don't initiate conversation. I have done my darndest with this one. I try my very best not to say anything to Creep if I am not spoken to. Unfortunately, in my situation, he is a sort of superior, and therefore I am being paid to be polite and friendly. However, he starts conversations with me every 6 or 7 seconds and follows me around, so I don't really have much time to practice not initiating conversations...


Step 6: Lie. I am a shockingly good liar when it comes to trivial things that nobody will figure out I'm lying about. When it comes to things like where I'm from, or what I'm studying, I can't lie to one person and tell the truth to everyone else (there's a lot of people where I work). Therefore, I have found myself evading, more than lying. It doesn't work very well. People can tell you're evading, more than they can tell you're lying (usually). If you can't lie, at least avoid offering information such as...where you're going, when and by what mode of transportation. If they ask, fake a leg cramp and hop away.


Step 7: Never ask a creep for help. I don't care if you are literally up shit creek without a paddle. In a creep's mind, as soon as you ask them for help, you are indebted to them. I was in such a situation recently, and thank god someone else was around to help. 


If all else fails, and you can't shake him, or it escalates to a point where Creepy McHeebyJeeb actually lays a finger on you, you either yell, scream, run or punch him in the face/gut/nads (and then run). My hope is that Step 1 works. Step 3 is my back-up. And ultimately, Step 7 is likely to happen before summer's out if Step 1 and 3 both fail.

A friend of mine recently told me (paraphrased): there are no innocent creeps. They all want in your pants. Some just have more innocently-disguised, difficult-to-call-them-out-on methods. Remain vigilent.

And now, a note to Creeps everywhere:

Women are not prizes. Women are not stupid. Women do not necessarily like/love you just because they talk to you and pretend to laugh at your (usually awkward) jokes. Women like compliments, but a superior should not comment on any of a lady employee's body parts. Women can tell a creep from a gentleman, we may just avoid letting you know which you are for politeness' sake. Here is a "hand"y way to know if you are indeed, a creep:

I hope this helps.

Normal, sane, respectful men acknowledge that all people have something called personal space. Some have a greater need for space than others (I would prefer all people to stand 10 feet away at all times). Women tend to get far more uncomfortable than men when their space is invaded. Perhaps it's innate or primal, or a more recently developed defense mechanism. Perhaps it's something we're taught subliminally by "society" (ALL MEN ARE DANGEROUS RAPISTS!). Who knows. 

One last thing: if we are not on a first date, more than 2 personal questions or compliments in rapid succession is considered invasive/creepy. And yes, "where do you live?", is a personal question.


I hope this helps anyone dealing with a creep now or in the future. I also hope it helps all yous Creeps realize exactly what is making the women in your life shudder so frequently.


Thanks, and have a great creep-free weekend! I shall try.
 

cocktail dresses

LUSH Review: Battle of the Make-up Removers!

 Is anyone else as mesmerized by this as I am?

If you're getting sick of these reviews, I understand. I have been wanting to do some outfit posts, especially since the weather has been pretty nice lately...however, Frank has been home on his farm planting corn, so I could not get nice photos outside. Boo.

Very soon though! Frank has returned. Sunburnt, tired and happy.

Until that happens, I seem to have accrued a great deal of LUSH products in the past month and I feel like talking about it. Some of them I actually paid for, but most of them were samples that I've been trying. I don't want to commit to a moisturizer or make-up remover until I'm sure it works and doesn't make my skin feel icky.

Samples received recently: Celestial and Cosmetic Lad moisturizers, 9 to 5 and Ultra Bland make-up removers, BIG shampoo. I'm very excited about that last one. The guy who always helps me out at the shop on Ste-Cath (hey Brad!) just popped it in my bag and told me "it's amazing, just try it!" I shall, Brad, I shall.

So today, I'm going to review the make-up removers I've tried, since I'm finally at the end of my samples for both. Both of them are marketed as facial cleansers, but are mainly used as make-up removers since they don't make great all-over cleansers.

First off, we have Ultra Bland. It's a very thick consistency and to me it smells like pure beeswax, but only when it's on my face. Otherwise I don't smell anything.

What I love about Ultra Bland: Not a whole lot. It's thick like my Pond's Cold Cream and it has almost no scent. I smell beeswax when I apply it, but I don't smell anything from the container. You also don't need very much, which is nice. It's reasonably effective, but it's not incredible. (Note: I looked up this product on the website after writing this, and it does contain beeswax, which creates a "waterproof barrier" on your face. Lovely...no thanks).

What I don't love about Ultra Bland: Although it has the same consistency as my cold cream, it does NOT come off easily. It sticks to my skin, including my hands. Luckily, I use it mostly before I do a mask and need my make-up off, or before I use my Angels on Bare Skin cleanser before bed. Those seem to be able to get the guck off my face, but it is SO hard to get it off my hands. You can tell they're still greasy because water beads on them...gross.

Overall, I really wasn't a fan of Ultra Bland. I would never use it alone, I would have to follow with a scrub or cleanser. With my cold cream, I just wipe it off and go to bed. I would not recommend that with Ultra Bland. Also, since my make-up isn't waterproof, I probably don't need such a thick, rich remover.


Secondly, we have 9 to 5, which is much much thinner and milky. It has a very light scent, almost like baby powder, but doesn't smell at all when applied. It goes on easy and is gentle on the eyes. It is supposed to be a cleanser for sensitive skin, and is perhaps the only liquid cleanser at LUSH (the others are solid, and you break off bits to mix with a bit of water).


What I love about 9 to 5: It's gorgeously light. It goes on, spreads and comes off easy. I can see how it could be a great cleanser, but I'm too big a fan of the solid cleansers. It doesn't leave any sort of film or residue on my face. I could, theoretically, go to bed after using this and toner if I'm feeling too tired to go through my routine, and my skin wouldn't feel gross. Additionally, you only need a tiny bit for your face (less than dime-size) and even less if you only need it for your eyes. Win!


What I don't love about 9 to 5: I'm pretty happy with it, since I wear minimal make-up and everything I wear is water-soluble anyway. For someone with heavier or long-lasting make-up, this might not be strong enough. It might be worthwhile in that case to try Ultra Bland, since it would absorb lipid-soluble make-up much better than 9 to 5. 


Overall, when my cold cream runs out, I will be purchasing 9 to 5. It's actually cheaper than my cold cream and feels much nicer! 

If you've tried either of these, or both, let me know what you thought! 

As for future reviews: solid shampoo (Seanik), Jungle solid conditioner (wow), Lemony Flutter cuticle butter, BIG shampoo, BB Seaweed face mask and at some point, my two new moisturizers. To step away from LUSH for a second, I will also review some of my nail polishes, all of which I love, but for different reasons! Should be fun. 

Also, I'm not sure why, but I've been watching a lot of make-up-related YouTube channels, and I've been eyeing my Sephora colour palette with longing. 5 out of 7 days a week, I have to look quite plain. The other 2 days, I'm in my pajamas. We'll see if I can bring myself to put on make-up for no reason.


Before my next review, I will try my darndest to get a few outfit posts up. Now that Frank is back, hopefully we can both be home at the same time when the sun is still up! 


Happy Hump Day! I'm awaiting the weekend already! :D

make-up remover

LUSH Review: Eau Roma Toner

 

I just want to state, right off the bat, that it took me forever to believe that toners were actually necessary and not some "extra step" created by cosmetics companies to make money off another bottle of useless fancy water.

Actually, I still kind of believe that about some cosmetics companies...


However, a few years ago I switched to using Neostrata toner after briefly using Clinique's version (as part of their 3-step cleansing system, which made my face as dry as a piece of old shedded snake skin). Using that showed me how much make-up and/or cleanser was still left on my face after washing it off...and I don't even wear much make-up. 


So I used it for a while, but I was never really happy with the fact that there is alcohol in it (and in fact, most drugstore or department store toners). If I had a cut, or blemish, or a patch of eczema on my face, no matter how small, the alcohol in the toner felt way too harsh.


After having success with LUSH's Angels on Bare Skin cleanser (and of course, Dream Cream), I decided to trust them implicitly with my skin and I checked out their toners. They have three different toners available.


Since I don't have acne, or oily skin, I figured the "Tea Tree" toner wasn't for me. The "Breath of Fresh Air" toner is for dry, rrrrrough skin and the "Eau Roma" toner said it was good for calming and refreshing dry, older or sensitive skin. 


I went for Eau Roma because my skin is dry, very sensitive AND this toner has rose and lavender in it, which are the calming, redness-reducing ingredients in Dream Cream. That was enough to make my choice.


Two words: it works.

What I love about this toner: So much! It's in a spray bottle, a decent size and inexpensive ($8.95 for 100mL, $17.95 for 250mL). It's effective, lovely, has a nice scent and it's going to be my go-to face-refresher during this summer's heat wave(s).


What I don't love about this toner: Because it comes out in small amounts of fine mist (which is good - no wasting product!), it's hard to know if there is any of it on your cotton pad. I've determined through experimentation that 4 squirts should suffice, even if it looks like there's nothing there. Make sure to put the pad right up to the hole though, so it actually makes it TO the cotton.

(According to a LUSH sales-gal "you don't have a huge face, so you can use even less!"....she was quite young)

So...if you DO have a huge face (?), maybe you need more than 4 squirts...

Alternatively, you could spray it ON your face, and wipe off with a cotton pad. I find this doesn't work so well though. I also tried spraying it on my hands, and then rubbing on my face and THEN wiping off with a cotton pad...but again, not as good. I recommend spraying on the cotton pad. 


Effects: This toner has three noticable effects on me. 

1: It removes excess cleanser/make-up
2. It calms my skin down when it's red and irritated.
3: A spritz of it on the face when I'm feeling dead and gross, makes me feel less dead and gross. Win!


After using the cotton pad, I spray an extra 2 squirts on my face to get the calming, red-reducing effects. I let that sink in, then I apply my moisturizer.


Story-time: In my last review, I mentioned that I had tried my sample of Ocean Salt scrub on my face, AFTER a "calming, soothing" mask. Brilliant idea, I know.


My face was pretty red afterward, and since there is vodka in the Ocean Salt scrub, it was stinging a little as well.


I immediately reached for Eau Roma and spritzed it a few times on my whole face. Within a few minutes my face was back to normal (non-red) colour and wasn't stinging.

As a scientist, I realize a control group is necessary to see if these effects are due to the toner or just the passage of time. However...the relief was noticable and I was grateful. That's enough to make up my mind about it! :) 

I highly recommend this toner for those with dry, sensitive, red, irritated skin. It says it's for mature skin too, but...I can't really test that (yet!). 

You could also try the Breath of Fresh Air toner for dry skin, but I haven't tried it, so I can't really recommend it. If you use it, let me know how you like it!

For those with oily skin, or "normal" skin (no issues), I would suggest checking out the Tea Tree toner. I believe Penny tried the Tea Tree one last summer. I would ask her about it, but she's in ALASKA! I know, she's so cool. I will ask her on Skype when I can. :)

Hope you enjoyed that long ramble about fragrant water...

If you DID, I'd love to hear your thoughts. How do you feel about toner? Necessary or a money-grab? Discuss.

toner

PSA #32: Be daring!

Please be aware that to me, being "daring" means altering a favourite recipe, for kicks. Just to see. And I hate wasting ingredients, so...I'm often too scared. In case the result is horrible. 

You will never see me sky-diving. Just so you know.

So, you may recall the black bean brownie recipe I reviewed/shared with you a while back. I was not too fond of it at first, but after sitting in the fridge overnight, the brownies were phenomenal. I've made them twice since (once with more sugar, and another time with the increased sugar AND lard instead of butter). They were fantastic both times! 

More sugar and more lard, really can never steer you wrong.

Now...just to mess with a good thing, I've gone and changed something else. 

I've added orange zest.


I don't know why. 

Maybe because I was recently at LUSH smelling things (as I normally do on my break at work...for aromatherapy).

Maybe because smelling their Therapy massage bar reminds me of a Terry's Chocolate Orange.

Maybe, just maybe, I've been thinking about oranges & chocolate ever since.


Maybe I happen to have oranges laying around.


Whatever the reason, I got this idea in my head, and I couldn't let it go. So I gave it a whirl. 


Verdict: amazeballs.


These brownies are crazy good. I'm actually glad I get to share them with other people, because...the world needs to know. And I don't need that much lard in my belly.

I used the exact same recipe as this one, BUT along with my other changes (substituted 1 cup sugar and 1/4 c. lard), I also added the zest of 1 orange to the mix.


Actually, I added it straight to the melted chocolate/lard mixture, which then proceeded to froth and bubble like mad. I'm not exactly sure what kind of chemical reaction happened...but two of my roommates were in the kitchen and they were amazed. The chocolate in the pot looked like the beginning stages of an Aero bar. In fact, Alex was convinced that if we put the pot in the freezer right at that moment, we'd make Aero bars.


I wonder...


So, I know that these brownies don't reach their full potential until the next morning (which is now...since I wrote this post last night), so...I currently (as in...last night...) can not tell you the true results. All I know is, I let them cool, I cut some up for the boyz to try and I tried some myself. They loved them! And they even knew they were made of beans! 


There is a delicate, subtle hint of orange, but it is definitely not obvious. Alex...or Max...I can't remember which (they're brothers), thought that if I hadn't told him, he wouldn't have noticed the orange. That's a good thing right? I was only going for a subtle flavour.


So...I consider it a success! If they're disgusting tomorrow (er...now), I'll let you know.


Gee, writing posts a day early, and writing as if it's the next day, is quite mind-boggling.


How did Marty McFly do it? 

baking